Chrysalis
Every so often God lovingly summons me to spin myself a figurative chrysalis, a timeout from the rhythms of normal life.
“In soul-making we can’t bypass the cocoon,” author Sue Monk Kidd says. “There’s always the husk of waiting somewhere in the corner.”
In other words, we’re invited to both embrace and endure a season of claustrophobic dark where transformation occurs — sometimes atom by atom.
To weather being set apart “involves weaving an environment of prayer,” Kidd adds. “It’s not about talking and doing and thinking. It’s about postures of the Spirit . . . turning oneself upside down so that everything is emptied out and God can flow in.”
Some will equate this process with conversion. Others believe it’s a recurring experience meant to enhance a new stage of faith, not a onetime event.
Me? I’m a serial cocoon-ist.
Regardless of where you land, here are a few secrets I find heartening.
For instance, the physical anchoring point of the butterfly pupa to the twig is a tiny, built-in hook. It’s called the “cremaster.” The creature relies on this attachment to survive the cold as well as the winter winds.
I’m thinking spiritual velcro.
CHRYSALIS PRAYER . . . IS WAITING PRAYER — aka dis-assemble-ment. Nobody’s favorite.
But how awesome that grace, at every turn, meets our expectant, if feeble, vigilance. And how sobering that this same grace may reduce us to goo.
God reconfigures us while we wait . . . in the dark . . . often clueless.
Waiting prayer is a thorny yet sacred wonder: wrenching as that ambush of tears we can’t explain; alarming as finding ourselves in fetal position; raw as our candid “Who cares? I’m outta here.”
THESE, TOO, ARE PRAYERS.
Still, don’t we fear that those we love may turn away, dismayed by how changed we are?
“Where there’s no risk, there’s no becoming. And where there’s no becoming, there’s no real life.
So we give people time, accept their resistance by listening to their fears, speak honestly of our path, and go on quietly finding our new wingspan.” —Sue Monk Kidd
Saying Yes multiple times to a life newly curtailed? This is courage, resolutely embodied.
I’m thinking of Jesus . . .
“Afterward, taking his body, Joseph and Nicodemus wrapped it in strips of linen, then laid him in the garden tomb.
Sounds cocoon-ish to me.
“The third day, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene saw that the stone had been removed.”
At the right time the cremaster, or seal, gives way to resurrection energy.
“Who is it you are looking for?” Jesus asks Mary. For she does not recognize him. Resurrection is transformation.
“I have seen the Lord!” Mary tells the others.
Our Savior — “for the joy set before him” — embraced separation, transformation, and emergence. Now, he intercedes for us.
ARE WE BORN TO SOAR?
In Hope for the Flowers, by Tricia Paulus, a caterpillar tells its curious pal, “I’m making a cocoon. It looks like I’m hiding, I know, but a cocoon is no escape. It’s an in-between house where the change takes place . . . the becoming . . . takes time.”
But did you know some caterpillars resist the chrysalis? Preferring larval life, they suspend their development, cling to what is known and familiar. Scientists call this the “diapause.”
Sometimes I resist the urgent press of life within: I shrink back from the call. Distract or numb myself. Justify my inaction.
My friend Pamela suggests it helps to view dread as a unit of neutral energy. Which I can aim. Hopefully, toward growth.
“Every time we face the light, the shadows fall behind us,” Kidd says.
Separation.
Transformation.
Emergence.
“Behold,” God says, “I make all things new” (Rev. 21:5).
Friends, which stage are you in, or perhaps nearing, at present?
You might also enjoy Butterflies Worth Befriending, from the archives
Chrysalis: Photo by Ikhsan Fauzi on Unsplash
Butterfly on orange 
flower: Photo by Yuichi Kageyama on Unsplash
My intrepid sister located the circa-1950s photo of our house, taken by our long-ago neighbor, Lester Smith. She also double-checked the door count with me. (Try this with a sibling! Decant the memories . . .) Enhanced by masterful artist, Shannon Carter, the cover beautifully captures the enigma of shadows and shelter.
