Moody skies. A cliff. An abandoned stroller . . .
Who took the baby?
+++
May I tell you a story?
On August 21st the solar eclipse will, in some locations, turn day into darkness. I wish you could know what the day means for our family.
On this day a year ago, an unwanted child was born to a drug-addicted mother and unknown father.
The parents would not cradle or feed or rock their baby girl.
They’d never be the metaphorical sun and moon watching over her world.
The baby, traumatized by Lithium withdrawal, could not settle and would not eat.
Our daughter, Rachel, agreed to work with her in the Neonatal Care Unit.
Love ignited their first moments together.
Rachel took this baby . . . into her heart.
Irresistibly drawn, she and her husband would rescue her, raise her, and nurture little Kiki into wholeness.
Perhaps Kiki sensed she’d been chosen, because she relaxed. She ate and slept. Her new responsiveness to love lit up the room.
Homecoming
Ongoing drug withdrawal consumed compassion, patience, and stamina.
Even tightly swaddled, sometimes Kiki could not bear to be touched, and I carried her around and around the house on a cushion. As with so many of our solutions, the pillow trick worked but wasn’t foolproof.
Weeks passed. Red-eyed and shaky with fatigue, Rachel and Damon agonized over her anguish. She shrieked and flailed.
“I’ve got you,” Damon would whisper, holding her close. “I’ve got you.”
Is this what it means to be chosen and cherished by God?
To be rescued, again and again—no matter what. To be made part of a family, given a new name.
Sometimes few words are needed. Touch is all.
Kiki’s suffering raged on.
Will the clouds part?
People who follow total eclipses wonder: Is our equipment good enough? Will the clouds part? We’ve come all this way . . . what if the wonder eludes us?
As caregivers, sometimes we miss glimmers of light when our loved one’s pain is vast and their progress, incremental.
We doubt our ability. God seems remote. Hidden.
Who will hold us and say, “I’ve got you.”?
We turn to “the man with starlight in his veins,” as writer Brian Doyle once called Jesus.
Then we offer ragged presence.
Chosen Again, Moonshadow Day
Kiki is thriving.
On the solar eclipse we’ll celebrate her first birthday . . . at the courthouse. We’ll witness the finalization of her adoption. She’ll be formally chosen, again, and for always, in a court of law . . .
. . . with all manner of declarations and testimonies, photos and signatures.
Can you imagine the hugging? No words needed. Touch is all.
Did it take long to find me? I asked the faithful light.
Did it take long to find me? And are you gonna stay the night?
“Moonshadow,” by Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens)
O to know you are loved like that….to be held safe no matter what. And yet we all are held by God in that way. I’m so glad for this celebration, Laurie. And that your new granddaughter is thriving in that love.
Kathleen, such a universal desire. I watched “Lion” last night and was so moved by the alternating longing and letting go and redemption in Saroo’s story. Seems I must regularly remind myself God holds me safe, come what may.
Thanks for sharing our joy, Kathleen. I’m grateful for our online connection and hope to meet you one day, if not here, then on the other side. 🙂 I want to stand next to you in the choir for at least a year. 🙂
The “mama” to whom I was referring is you. Sorry if I weren’t clear.
🙂
Laurie, this so deeply moves me, first for little Kiki . . . for the unconditional love she is receiving and always will from your daughter and family . . . of how the sunshine of God’s love never stopped shining on her, even though the dark shadow of drug addiction and abandonment seemed to occlude that possibility. But oh my, it was temporary!!! And this struck me deeply on a personal level, b/c we invited to our eclipsefest a little boy who has been abandoned by his parents, but whom my dear, dear friend has taken into her home as a foster child to show him the love of Jesus. This is unusual, because she is not a young woman (more like a grandmother to him). But she has a heart of evergreen and one that beats with love for this young child. And staggeringly, this little boy at six had never seen the moon. Can you possibly imagine this?! He was not shown so many things due to parental neglect. And now, he has seen his first eclipse, and the Sonshine of God’s love through the sacrificial love of my friend, just like Kiki has known this through your daughter. Indeed, these are times for celebrating.
Love
Lynn
“A boy, an eclipse, a heart of evergreen” — what a powerful threesome. And what a wondrous opportunity for you all! Gives me shivers. Sounds like a poem, and a picture book, and an invitation to wonder.
I’ve read of cultures who swaddle their newborns and carry them outside at night for a first glimpse of the moon, which sounds like a celestial baptism into beauty and mystery.
Thank you for sharing your celebration with me. So so meaningful, Lynn.
You’ve captured the poetry of this day for me and my family, and for us all, Laurie. Thank you. Ah . . . have you ever written a children’s book? It’s a dream of mine, but not my gifting.
May we all have evergreen hearts, huh? Bless you for sharing eternal (and ethereal) beauty in this place.
Love
Lynn
I’ve written a few stories for kids but never tried to publish them. For a decade or so I was a professional storyteller, traveled around to schools, libraries, festivals, churches. Some of my favorite material came from picture books, and I still love them. Loved buying them for our girls. And now I have four little ones and there’s a host of new books to discover!
And yes to the evergreen hearts. My mom loved a Chinese proverb that says: “I I keep a green bough in my heart, the singing bird will come.”
Yes, yes. That is a favorite proverb/quote of mine!!!
And oh, Laurie, I encourage you to pull these out, dust them off, and start all over again! (Sorry, I digressed into a Fred and Ginger dance quote of sorts :-)), but yes, you should revisit those and see if you have a story to tell. I think I could write it, if someone would tell me the plot!!! 🙂 I particularly love lyrical books for children, prettily, whimsically illustrated. Books that are deeper than the words on the page. I’m sure your children adored them . . . and mama, too. My mother told me she bought the children’s books as much for her as for me.
Oops, sorry to be responding out of line in the thread here; the blog only allows me so many replies. I think we need a coffee/tea date for about a month somewhere!
I will definitely revisit those stories prayerfully with your urging in mind. Thank you for being so consistently encouraging. You are a gift to me, Lynn.
I was always a sucker for gorgeous or quirky illustrations alongside whimsical text. And since I had daughters, and an eccentric aunt who sent money for educational luxuries, a lovely home library outgrew our shelves. I do hope the grandkids will love being read to . . .
The Faithful Light; choosing us again and again and again. Even the darkness is as light to you, Lord. The “I got you” moments have become a year; indeed a chosen life. Thank you for living the hope and sharing the light of hope as you celebrate your precious family.
Roberta, yes, you distill it all so beautifully here. I so enjoy your writing and the heart within it. Thanks for celebrating with us, friend!
“To be rescued, again and again—no matter what. To be made part of a family, given a new name.”
What amazing love and that Hod would offer you all the privilege of being the sun and moon in Kiki’ life!
Beautiful
*God
Kel, I hadn’t thought about us now being part of Kiki’s (familial) firmament—just hadn’t taken it that far in my thinking and wow, that moves me. Thank you for this lovely gift this morning!
I knew what you meant. Gave me another angle on God to ponder as a hod is a V-shaped trough for carrying building materials. 🙂
Laurie, what an incredible and beautiful story! It lifts my heart to know there are people such as your daughter Rachel and Damon who were willing to give Kiki God’s love when she needed it most. Congratulations on this precious one-year-old today. I will always think of her on my birthday as well.
Wendy, hope you enjoyed your eclipse birthday! How lovely to think of you remembering Kiki on your special day.
We thank God for our kids and their seemingly boundless loving ways, so healing. So like His.
I love this so much , it is truly an encouraging message.
Mike, it encourages me too, seeing afresh how healing love can be in this bruised and broken world. Thanks for commenting.
This just made my heart sing and a huge smile to spread across my face, Laurie! Beautiful telling in just the way that you are called to do! Thank you!
That puts a huge smile on my face, Melissa. Thank you for celebrating with us! And thanks for the encouragement, too. 🙂
a precious story indeed. Thank you for sharing with us today. I love the visual of being held. Chosen and cherished.
Carol, it’s really something to contemplate, isn’t it. Reading your comment this evening after the birthday party makes me relive the day and give thanks yet again. So glad you dropped by. 🙂
This made my Eclipse Day so bright and wonderful!!!
Oh I am glad to spread this delight around. Thanks for dropping in to read today. Blessings on you!
Laurie, How beautiful, I read the words you wrote and just smiled. Thank you for letting me in to your beautiful world.
Hi Bev, you are so welcome! Thanks for reading. Feels like the more beauty we can absorb, the more we can give away. I’m glad to think of you smiling. May you discover beautiful lulls today.
A radiant story, glowing with the light of love, patience, perseverance, and finally, incredible blessing. Praise God for his miracle-working power That Kiki is an adorable, precious baby!!
Nancy, our kids continually amaze us. They loved and endured months and months of craziness. These days, thank God, she is the happiest baby. Her smile says it all.
Happy Birthday, dearest Keira Jean. God Bless you all on this wonderful day!!!
Thanks, Great Aunt Carol (and best-sis-on-the-planet). Session in two hours, then the birthday bash at a local pizza place. Oh we are so happy you and the girls got to love on Kiki and Chloe, Landon and Jonathan—our windfall babies. And blessings on all you and Lincoln!
God Bless.
Larry, my friend, thanks for following our story and for your prayers and blessing today. Such joy (alongside fear and trembling) to be entrusted with grandchildren, isn’t it? Blessings on you and yours this day.
Happy birthday and happy adoption day!
Angela, thanks for reading our story and celebrating with us!
Absolutely lovely, Laurie…
Dana, thanks for reading today. I know how full the days are at present and so appreciate your voice here today.