Laurie Klein, Scribe

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Yes & No Answers

by Laurie Klein 12 Chiming In

Yes. Those 3 letters brim with promise.
Yes can encompass zest
or solemnity,
courtesy, courage or compromise.

Yes can mean guilt,
resignation,
or quiet acceptance—
depending on when and how and why I say it.

Yes may mean “I’m afraid to say No.”

Yes & No

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“To allow oneself to be carried away
by a multitude of conflicting concerns,

to surrender to too many demands,
to commit oneself to too many projects,
to want to help everyone in everything,
is to succumb to the violence of our times.”

So said Thomas Merton.

Then I read this:

“One faces the devil’s bargains frequently when planning the structure of one’s day. How much can one crowd into the day?” asks Robert Johnson.

Violence and devil’s bargains—isn’t this hyperbole? Spiritual hype?

Johnson’s meddlesome “how much” question chafes.

How casually I attribute my productive pace to:

  • Personality
  • Birth order
  • Childhood’s family work ethic

All gifts, I would add … that can be abused. When ticking boxes off lists I feel heroic, almost prolific.

Currently, I’m packing for travel. Bustling ensues. I toggle between fast-forward and pause.

There must be fresh ways to sanely pursue the essential—lest I mortgage my reserves into the next decade.

“Listen deeply to your body’s longings for movement and stillness, saying yes to them in whatever way is appropriate for you,” writes Christine Valters-Paintner.

Discernment sometimes begins in the body.

Yes is worth the wait

 

If amid hubbub I can wait with expectation, discerning my “Yes” may also entail speaking a holy “No.” Perhaps out loud. Perhaps, repeatedly.

The words yes and no even trigger arguments among grammarians trying to classify them into conventional parts of speech. Small and slippery, they can be nouns, adverbs, interjections, even minor sentences.

No wonder I’m conflicted.

While I’m away (sans laptop), I hope those of us pondering this will more easily discern when and how and why we say, “Yes.” And “No.”

Meanwhile, you might enjoy my offering in Jenneth Glaser’s winsome Poetry as Therapy celebration. Daily, for the month of June only, Jenneth features stunning photography, music, meditations, affirmations, poems, and prayers. Click the link below to catch up on earlier posts.

https://mailchi.mp/8d4d29876d22/welcome-to-day-15-of-the-poetry-as-therapy-online-retreat-2018?e=408e5c4767

You might also enjoy my e e cummings photo mediation: Natural … infinite …

I’d love to get your take on saying Yes and No. I’ll respond as soon as I can, depending on computer availability.

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Photos: detail of collage, by Laurie Klein, and our scummily artful birdbath, beneath the eave.

Filed Under: Small Wonders Tagged With: essential, expectation, listen, No, yes June 27, 2018

Trapped

by Laurie Klein 28 Chiming In

Trapped.

trapped in motion

A hummingbird flails against the open glass slider—inside the house.

Dare I usher this manic three-inch wonder outside?

Inching closer, newspaper in hand, I cradle and lift until—with a cranky chirk—it swivels midair, then rockets away.

In this moment there is life and food
for future years. —Wm. Wordsworth

+++

I just reread this old journal entry because now, 19 years later, several Beija flors, or flower kissers, have converged on our new feeder. Iridescence shimmers, flushing copper to gold, then green.

The green arrests me.

Last night I read exceptionally good news about a fellow writer’s success. In a hummingbird heartbeat, I felt threatened. Territorial. Envious.

And here I am. Jealousy I don’t want to feel and fail to swallow constricts my throat. My soul.

O the tempers and vanities that beset me.

Ego vibrates, carping after the inaccessible, like a beak against glass.

Jealousy escalates. If I’m honest, I want to win. I want to impress.

Like hummingbirds at the feeder, my thoughts bicker and bully, sideswipe and joust for position.

My ego plunges an all-or-nothing beak into any bright opening, no matter how small.

Sometimes I struggle to discern truth in the world.

This feels like truth:

Make a careful exploration of who you are
and the work you have been given,
and then sink yourself into that.

Don’t be impressed with yourself.
Don’t compare yourself with others.

…take responsibility for doing
the creative best you can with your own life.*

When feeling trapped by comparisons, these are words where my soul can hover.

God gently slips his newspaper beneath my beating thoughts, lifting me safely, cleanly, up and away.

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How do you disarm envy?

*Galations 6, The Message

 

Filed Under: Small Wonders Tagged With: ego, envy, hummingbird, jealousy, success, trapped June 6, 2018

Relax into the Impossible

by Laurie Klein 13 Chiming In

“Relax” — perhaps not your first title for this image.

Relax: Advice from a GnomeHow long has this homely garden gnome kissed the dirt? Someone seems pretty lax in their landscaping.

Re: Lax.

Lax can mean slipshod. Slapdash.

Lax also denotes loosened muscles and limbs. Deepened ease.

Perhaps it’s a continuum?

Test Case.

A dear friend is throwing a party. She wants my help.

Guests will retell their conversion experience, 3 minutes per person.

An artist assigned to each table will take notes on their stories.

  • ~20 minutes for listening
  • ~25 minutes to create something, in response
  • ~5 minutes to present it … publicly

Large room, long guest list.

Her request—seemingly impossible—suggests … extraordinary possibility.

Can it be done?

Keen attention and presence must marry crunch-time spontaneity.

Seat-of-the-pants is not how I roll.

Relax … how?

The party-room vibrates with expectation.

Pacing, I roll my neck and shoulders. Must lighten up, loosen my mind, let the nerves go lax.

I’d drop right now like a jazz dancer, collapse face-down, if I could, like the garden gnome—preferably under a table—let everyone carry on without me.

Relax. Now.

Gnome comes from an ancient Greek word, meaning “to know.” Despite my fear, I know grace has my back.

I choose a table. Memorable stories unspool.

Afterward, we artists retreat with our notes to another room while the guests eat.

Help me help me help me

25 minutes evaporate.

Showtime.

I cradle my efforts: the distillation of 5 stories rich with surprise and hope, rife with my cross-outs, arrows, and asterisks. My version is slapdash, yet deeply felt.

I teach the crowd the refrain, and we speak it aloud between each section:

“You were born from God’s longing. And here you are.”

They hear it. I hear it. Together, we relax into the impossible.

Relax is a relative term

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

GNOME

What is a face plant but a dance,
staged alongside possible ruin,
another garden-variety hero,
toppled, among the shrubs,
clownish, inept. Unarmed.
Face-down is one nosedive
prayer embodies: the sudden
gravity, slapstick’s kissing cousin.
Practice pratfalls. Lean into the spill,
each bruise an inside turn, toward grace.

+++

“Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.”  —Rumi

 

What helps you relax into the impossible?

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Should you wish to create a similar celebration:
My friend’s O Holy Night Party gathered seasoned dancers, writers, artists, a table maven, and a musician; great food, beautifully presented; stunning stories, each teller newly-luminous in remembrance, which happens when we recount aloud moments that changed everything.
“You were born from God’s longing.” Peter G. van Breeman, God Who Won’t Let Go
“
Relax into the impossible.” Susan Cowger
*No gnomes were harmed in the making of this post.

Filed Under: Immersions Tagged With: attention, grace, impossible, longing, possible, prayer, relax, transformation May 20, 2018

Light Scatter & Yag Shots: Science Meets Poetry

by Laurie Klein 36 Chiming In

“Light scatter from the microscope,” the eye surgeon said. “Your own personal light show.”

During outpatient surgery today, vivid shapes—morphing from teal blue to chartreuse—resembled photos I’ve taken of water, at dusk.

Light Scatter, lake at dusk

Interrupting
my chronic, distorted vision
and escalating dread …
glimpses of Beauty.

Had I ever sat so still? [Read more…]

Filed Under: Immersions Tagged With: clarify, contemplative, light, light scatter, redirect, vision April 25, 2018

“Squirrel!” Or Harnessing Distraction

by Laurie Klein 14 Chiming In

“Squirrel!” Like the talking dog in the movie “Up,” I’m distracted.

While reading, peripheral movements at the bird feeder have snagged my gaze. A small rodent poses atop the Squirrel Begone Baffle.

Book forgotten, I fetch my camera.

ambition

I am easily baffled. Prone to distraction:

  • hunger clears its throat when I mean to pray, then my feet escort me kitchen-ward
  • a traffic accident occurs and I rubberneck
  • during party conversations my ears mimic satellite dishes; I eavesdrop on other conversations

Some days my head locks onto the wrong setting: S.W.I.V.E.L.

Squirrel!

A tree squirrel can rotate both hind ankles 180 degrees, allowing breezy, head-first walks down a tree trunk. Or the quick-shinny up a metal pole.

To learn from this one—albeit after the fact—I launch an imaginary conversation: “Do you have a message for me?”

Then I give him a voice and let him answer. You seem less agile, he seems to say.

Didn’t see that coming. Cheeky rodent. “Um, are you perchance … packing a metaphor?”

The squirrel does a double-take. Who me?

“Yes, you.”

Claws re-grip the pole. Coast is clear.

“Meaning …”

Dare …

squirrel makes his move

 

Standing fully extended,

the squirrel looks relaxed, yet

primed for action.

“Show-off,” I say.

I’m enacting my hunger.

I suspect he says this because in his furry mind, he suspects I am not.

So I change the subject

Whiskers, or vibrissae, surround the squirrel’s nose, mouth, and limbs. Vibrissae ferry nerve impulses brimming with tactile information straight to the brain.

Which restarts the dialogue. “Okay, Scamp, those whiskers suggest I pursue my current project with all my resources?”

The small head cocks, vibrissae quiver.

“Or … you’re implying a leap of faith will override my latest baffling obstacle: fear of finishing.”

Silence.

“I’ll discover balance in time for the next upward push?”

Nothing.

“Following my hungers, the God-given kind, might aid my mental agility?”

Tsk. Follow the ache; embrace the fun.

“I get it. Tend the small hungers within my reach. Then extend the reach.”

squirrel with seed
Timing. Intention. Readiness. Grace.

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Distraction: harnessed via imaginary dialogue. If you try this, let me know what happens?

Dug, the talking dog, in “Up”—(watch here).

Double take post 1: 

Double take post 2:

 

Filed Under: Small Wonders Tagged With: baffle, contemplative, distraction, double-take, squirrel! April 11, 2018

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