Saving Time? Yes, let’s.
But first …
my 50th High School Reunion:
Only after flying to Wisconsin
did I realize
my former adolescent peers
were, and ever would be,
the keepers of my awkwardness.
They might bring up Rod McCool’s bash
where, handed my first beer
(no clue about pouring slowly or
tilting both can AND glass)
I baptized myself and
his absent parents’ white couch.
My boyfriend’s chagrin.
Rod McCool’s “!!&%#!!%#!”
Foam and lager and reek … O my!
At our most awkward,
we tell ourselves
we’ll never be cool enough.
Half a century later, I was
that clueless girl again, stalling,
afraid to brave the reunion.
During the first 2 minutes
no one mentioned my beer gaffe
(or numerous other follies).
Within those 2 minutes
and thereafter, I was hugged.
Kissed. Thoroughly welcomed.
I felt like Cinderella
twirling at The Ball.
O to be recognized,
touched at our wincing core,
that guarded, wistful corner
of the heart seemingly
doomed to always feel 16.
2 minutes
and my old outsider status
vaporized. I’d entered
a saving time. A healing time.
Which brings me here, now:
Scheduled to vanish,
2 minutes of daylight will
daily disappear,
until we turn back
our clocks, on November 4th,
and we are awarded 1 free hour
for a little more rest,
a little more dreaming …
Do you need rest?
Or a new dream?
We do.
My husband’s health is spiraling down.
Partly, it’s the genetic hand dealt him,
likely exacerbated
by the aftershocks and insults
anesthesia sometimes visits
upon the psyche and body.
We’ll see a UW Medical Center expert on Muscular Dystrophy
and 3 local specialists in other fields.
And we’ll move. Downsizing is here. For real.
One-story living,
one living story
unfolding …
I’ll share more in future posts.
Meanwhile, we’re turning back the marital clock,
recalling our madcap youth,
Dreamer and me in the Rambler,
cruising into a new town, setting up house.
We’re priming our souls for adventure,
an invitation to the as-yet undreamed …
ps At the reunion, my friend Wendie gave me this:
Daylight Saving Time: more here
Catch up on Dreamer’s story here
Stopwatch photo by Matt Lamers for Unsplash
Oh, Laurie, you have such a deft touch when writing about tough stuff. It’s impossible for you not to wax lyrical, with poetry seated deep in your bones. I love the wisdom and optimism threading through your thoughts. I’m so sorry to hear about the extra health challenges Bill is facing and how you are needing to shift both home and perspective to cope with them.
Life has a way of making us pare back and clear out the clutter, emotionally as well as physically. It’s something we’re having to consider as well. May you fall forward, release with compassion, view this change as a new birth and have courage enough to tackle the necessary next steps in your journey of life and faith. With love, gentle hugs and ongoing prayers. xo
Joy, I attribute any wisdom and optimism solely to Grace. 🙂 Your thoughts about this time potentially being a new birth are deeply encouraging. Even exciting. Thank you for such a lovely, comprehensive prayer as we “tackle the necessary nest steps.” Your understanding is greatly valued and your love is a gift. Wrapping up in your “gentle hug” (virtually speaking) right this moment! xx
Oh dear Laurie! Praying for Dreamer’s full recovery. That was such horrendous surgery, and Mike says everyone reacts differently. But I know he just wants to be well, and this is your wish for him, and that this story will unfold better for the two of you, sans all this difficulty and pain. Will pray! And can’t believe you graduated 50 yrs ago! Actually, I will celebrate that milestone next year, Lord willing. Michael hates attending these, but I coax him. My favorite high school reunions were the ones I attended w/ Daddy–his. Mother really didn’t like to go. So I did. Great time spent w/ my father, and he and I even sang a duet two years running as part of their program. Great fun. And I miss him.
Sending you much love for a *seamless* story!
xoxo
Lynn
Dear Lynn, thank you for your prayers and faith. Bill went the first night with me to the reunion, and I was delighted to introduce him to my oldest friends.
How wonderful for you to have gone to your father’s reunions, and to have sung with him during the program those two years. What choice and tender memory. I feel the ache and the love behind your words about missing him.
Sending love right back your way, friend . . .
You portray your life’s intertwined “heart-settings” so beautifully.
May you & Dreamer feel Abba’s embrace as you walk through each scenario of your ordained days.
I’m sitting in my office surrounded by writing stuff that needs to be donated or tossed. What a reprieve to turn from decisions to conversation, even if it’s virtual. 🙂 Something in me warms and lifts as I read your prayer. To feel the Father’s embrace in these ordained days. Yes! The word ordained feels like a touchstone just now. And the embrace? Well, that reality feels good ALL the time. Thank you friend.
Writing stuff?
Laurie, I am sorry that I am just now getting to read this. I can’t think of anything fitting to say here in the comments. Just want to extend warmth your way, across our shared mountains, and let you know I care. I’m praying for you and your husband.
Dear Bethany, extended warmth across the mountains sounds perfect today. I’m taking a break from packing boxes for Goodwill and will sit a while with that loving thought. Thank you.
ps I so enjoyed seeing your smile again at the Zoom chat!!!
Thank you. <3 It was such a pleasure to sit in the quiet warmth of that dear group. <3 So glad I got to see you there, Laurie.
I’ve never attended a high school reunion, but I’ve heard that as the decades pass, so does the competition, jealousy, silliness, and other downsides of our adolescent selves. SO glad you enjoyed a Cinderella experience! However, the news you shared about Dreamer is disappointing. How I’d like to hear that new medications and/or procedures offer the guarantee of a positive outcome. With many others, I’ll continue to pray that Dreamer defies the prognosis! I’ll also be praying that downsizing affords more pros than cons, that you fall in love with your new home. Meanwhile, you have a most healthy outlook: “primed for adventure!” May we all embrace such an attitude. Thank you, dear friend, for leading the way.
Nancy, I’ve only attended two reunions. The 50th totally outshone my earlier experience, probably for all the reasons you mention. Even at the time of the gathering (and in the days since), I’m acutely aware of grace cushioning as well as arming me with extra love to face the days ahead. Thank you for your prayers, friend. And mine continue for you and your beloved.
Sweet Laurie and Dreamer, there you are standing at the threadhold. Together as one.
When you said to me, “Seek My Face”‘ my heart said, Your Face Lord I will seek.
And there He is, inside that threshold, strong right hand extended and welcoming. The story continues.
Roberta, I’ve always loved that psalm. How good to read some of the words just now, as I take a breather amid the boxes. I am feeling supremely met at this threshold. Thank you, friend for that image of the strong, welcoming hand.
Bill and Laurie, please know you both are in our prayers. My hear is so sad to hear this news. You both had such a huge impact in my life when I was young. I remember sharing an office with Bill at CLC, his words teaching me so much about a real relationship with Jesus. Bless you both on this journey. Laurie, your words are always full of abundant Grace. Love you both, Val
Dear Val (and Bruce), thanks for writing. We sure welcome your faith for blessings as we move forward. Your memory stirs my heart this morning. Those were good days, shared. And … if Bill and I need to share an office in our new downsized digs, I will remember your words. 🙂
This sure is a journey, or maybe I should say trek (as in, steep learning curve). I’m so glad Grace holds me together and makes its way through my words and, hopefully, my life. Thanks for letting me know. Our love to you both!
You words, as always, full of grace in an uncertain and perilous time. I pray you continue to find humor, joy and wonder as you make this next transition into your one living story. Love to you and Dreamer. <3
Michelle, it’s so heartening to read your words this morning and see your smile filling the circle that holds your image. Thank you or your prayer and your love. Laughter in times a time like this feels like leaven. Ha! May the dough of these aging souls rise to the challenge! (Can you tell I streamlined my kitchen yesterday?) 🙂
Laurie, GOD has blessed you with all my love you too have for each other. Bill is a wonderful man. As for your recap, I am sure your friends saw you as the most precious peer they had the pleasure to have been in class with. You are so sweet and I am so proud of you both and hope you had a good time at the reunion. God bless and keep you strong and healthy New year to you both. I love you both so much and prayers are with you always and forever sister.
Nancee, your loving generosity is a beautiful gift this morning. Thanks for your prayers and blessing. I will walk (and pack) in the strength of your words today.
Oh, Laurie and Bill, my heart is heavy and also light as I read this. Life is such a journey. Isn’t it funny how 50 years can change you so much, but that young insecure teenager is still hiding inside and 50 years seems like no time at all? As you and Bill enter another phase of life I pray your hearts will be full, filled with not only the love of all who know you, but the love our heavenly father lavishes on his beloved children. Prayers being lifted for you, my friends.
Carol, my heart leapt just now to see your name in my Inbox. Thanks for coming alongside, yet again. We are so grateful for your friendship and support. I love that it springs from time spent singing and seeking together, so many years ago. Those bonds go deep, holding true, over time.
I like your take on this mysterious time and transformation business. And yes, such a yo-yo effect on the emotions! I was keen to attend my reunion, then taken aback as teenaged-Laurie made her surprise appearance in the parking lot, outside the restaurant. No sooner had I stepped (trembling) from the rental car than one of my childhood friends called my name. The lengths God goes to, choreographing moments and invitations to our ongoing wholeness!
Virtual hugs to you and Dreamer as you sift through the dilemmas of health. I’ll be pulling for you both.
Lisa, I was thinking of you just a few hours ago, missing your company. And here you are. I’ve sifted and sorted and tossed and delivered (donations) most of the day. Now I’m wrapping myself up in your virtual hug. Gonna head for my reading chair . . . Thanks, friend.
It was wonderful to see you at the reunion Laurie. I was so glad that so many of our classmates walked into a room where uncertainty might have filled the air…………but it didn’t!
Something happened in that room ……….and so many felt it. A room full of love and inclusiveness like no other. We walked out that night with our step a bit lighter, our smile a tad brighter and many memories to linger until the next time, whenever and wherever that may be.
Wendie, this makes me so happy. I love hearing that others also felt the unique generosity, “love and inclusiveness” in those rooms where we gathered, and the way you’ve expressed it here makes me smile about it all over again. I couldn’t feel prouder or more grateful about being a member of the class of ’68.
And of course I adore my vintage 45 rpm analog record. 🙂
Laurie
I’m optimistic about Bills health, that anesthesia can linger , I’m hoping once it clears his system and his heart gets stronger things will even out …the move is one we all will face sooner or later so your in good company and in this case doing the recon for some of us.. ( you can write indepth as I will follow your lead ) what ever change you and Bill face I hope it’s a continuation of your beautiful life story .
It would be a shame to lose precious time with worry .
I can’t wait to hear about Bills future wilderness exploits , and reading your latest insights into this retirement stage the class of 68 is facing . I’m looking forward to your take on things, and as always keeping you both in our prayers…
Larry, I never thought of myself being sent out on recon (too timid, for one thing, lol), but YES, I’ll gladly pass on what I learn. Such a good caution to sidestep “worry,” thank you friend for mentioning that. Time is precious, and we want to live generously and also discover the joys others describe about living more simply. Sigh. Tall order for lifelong hobbyist/traveler/explorer/collector types. 🙂 Maybe as things stretch me, I won’t have to stand on tiptoe anymore to kiss Dreamer!
And these lines….
“One-story living,
one living story
unfolding …”
The way God gives you to wrap words around your story is a delight be part of.
He’s not finished yet. (And apparently neither am I.)
love~
And may we finish well, Jody, however long our time here. Meanwhile, I’m grateful to be journeying alongside you.
ohhhh…… sigh. Sigh. God brings us around again and again. Holding you both in prayer, my friend.
Again and again. I’m hoping in my case it’s a spiral rather than circling the same mountain. Or the drain! Levity aside, I welcome and cherish your sighs and prayers, friend. Thank you.
The times, they are a changing. I hope this will be not a winding down,. It instead a gift of time and closeness for you both. It’s hard to downsize. Recently helped a friend. There was a lot of stress in the process. Praying that it can somehow be joyful, even jnthe midst of chaos and difficult decisions. And that your new place will be one of peace.
Kathleen, you’ve been a role model for me in weathering change. I’m so grateful for your blog and hard-won experience.
And what a lucky friend you have, who must have loved having your in-person, on-site discernment and assistance during the streamlining process!.
One-story living. ONE, story, living, breathing. One story LIVING. Thank you for chronicling the surprises of life that can beset us but can make us ever-better. All kinds of stories, but they add together to make ONE BIG STORY. My heart is with you both in this journey. I’m so sorry dear Dreamer is having to walk through such a perplexing set of symptoms. Praying for you both, daily.❤ Praying for a smooth transition into a new home.
Dear Pacia, your companionship in the spirit is priceless to me. And your sage wordplay delights the poet in me. You’ve given me more facets of possibility to muse over with those five simple words. Thank you, dear friend.
And I love that new sculpture of yours I saw on FB! May each piece find its true home . . .
Beautifully expressed…sending love as you dream into this next adventure. Life is an E-ticker ride, that’s for sure. xoxo Susan p.s.if you want a copy of The Big Adventures of Tiny House as you embrace a smaller footprint, let me know!
Susan, I’m going to ask my library to order your book. It sounds spirited and filled with truth. Then more people up here can discover your beautiful work. (I’m currently trying to reduce my personal library by half — an epic project as my books have stacked up in 3 rooms.) Thanks so much for your love and encouragement!
Oh, Laurie. I don’t like the spiraling down part. And the turning back. And the remembering. And the dreaming. And the adventuring.
Many hugs.
Meaning… I like the remembering and dreaming and adventuring.
Sandy, wow, those gerunds carry a lot of freight. (I knew what you meant but loved having you chime in again.) And reading your second comment just now amid cleaning out my office files (why have I saved every piece of communication from every writer’s conference I’ve ever attended?) refocused me on the beauty of Making Space. “Remembering, dreaming, adventuring”: I feel freshly re-poised to watch for even the smallest positive aspects and possibilities. 🙂
Poignant times…my thoughts & prayers are with you as you journey uncharted dreams and cross thresholds and enter fully into this episode of life
Kel, I think of you on your streamlined travels in the boat and know you’ve discovered secrets to the simpler life. Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers and visionary words. Images stick. They’re food for me. I was reading about thresholds again last Monday. The author suggested pausing (when possible) before entering or exiting a doorway, taking a deep breath or two before heading into the next task. Such a simple, steadying action. The potential for courting peace this way intrigues me . . .
This gutterally eloquent piece of writing stirs an emotion…an upheaval of times we impulsively let ourselves experiment with regret. Ashamed of our risk, we move forward until 50 years later, we meet redemption, forgiveness, and, like a slow dance, foresee into the future…letting go, loving more, and finding our hearts saturated with gratitude.
Kathy, hello! I’m delighted to find you here. (And to have met you at the reunion. Thank you, JWL.)
This phrase——”times we impulsively let ourselves experiment with regret”——arrests me. So worth pondering.
And the “slow dance”? Bring it on! Yours is a vision of living worth the price. Which triggered a half-memory of a quote. Just googled. It was TS Eliot who spoke of “a condition of complete simplicity (costing not less than everything).”
Something tells me I’m about to learn to love bracing swims in the deep end . . .
Through your words, so eloquently spoken, life slows down. Memories are given their due time, firmly planted, two feet on the ground. Your gentle spirit and quiet reflection of the past soothed me and gave truth and validity to those bygone days. I too felt the love and acceptance in the room. We don’t get to choose what comes next, my wish for us both is that we celebrate each small victory. We live for each new sparkling moment in time. Love you.
Mary Lynn, I am grateful for you! All those years and times we shared, so long ago, and now this fresh reconnection we have via FB and our marvelous class reunion. It makes me happy to read of your similar experience among our classmates. And I love your wish for both of us. May we see and celebrate the sparkles!
ps You’re as articulate as you are artistic. Thanks so much for leaving your thoughts here for me to read this afternoon. The perfect break when sorting old papers and making decisions. 🙂
Thanks for the update, it’s hard to view this winter of our life, or maybe fall as a opportunity for growth, but you capture it beautifully my friend.
Patti, thank you for this: “Fall as an opportunity for growth” … and I can’t help seeing that verb “fall” in its noun disguise as well, the season preceding the winter you mention. I sure appreciate your words this morning! I just loaded the car with donations to be delivered. As a woman who lives with an elderly, shedding-machine Labrador, I’m finding surprising exhilaration in shedding unneeded possessions. 🙂