Hope deferred. Not what we had in mind.
Dreamer and I finally saw the cardiologist. For 3 long weeks we have awaited The Plan.
Remember the classic parental non-answer “We’ll see”?
Hopefully, 8 weeks hence, we’ll know more. A definitive word will be spoken.
Meanwhile: more meds.
A fellow wordsmith reminded me that poet Emily Dickinson eagerly awaited the enlivening glow of words, her eyes, ears and soul cocked, her pen poised.
Playwright William Luce says Dickinson relished words worth lifting a hat to. Like phosphorescence.
Hale
Vigorous
Robust
I long to lift my hat to one of those words.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, Solomon tell us.
Hope, however, also muscles up—via delay. Long after the disciples went home, Mary Magdalene hung around the tomb, waiting.
Waiting.
Who heard Easter’s enlivening word straight from the angels?
Who heard first, that day, from the Word, himself?
One who waited.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
What are you waiting for? May I come alongside you in prayer?
I’ve heard prominent Christian speakers say something like, “new levels, new devils.” I did not believe them. Instead, I went through life blissfully thinking that I was safe in the arms of God…until He wounded me. (I know he will heal me too, but that hasn’t happened yet.) To get through this time of deferred hope, I often sing “I love you, Lord.” That song has been my spiritual battle cry through those momentary (but relentless) light afflictions which seek to rob my heart of the Joy of His salvation. Most days, that song is all I can get past my lips.
I cannot change myself, my circumstances, my anointing, or my past. But, I can choose to love Him with hope that He still likes my voice. So, I praise God for the work He has done and is doing through you, Laurie.
Dear Lady Peter,
Thank you for letting me know the song is an ongoing help in your journey. I am so moved by God’s faithfulness to use what we offer in ways and places we never imagine!
I’m picturing God’s rescuing grace en route to you this day:
to renew the joy of your salvation,
to bolster you (bodysoulandspirit!) as you endure “relentless” affliction,
and to encompass you with healing love.
God cherishes your voice, as well as your ongoing choice — over and over again — to wholeheartedly live and love.
A most blessed Christmas to you and yours!
Thank you for writing “I Love You ,Lord”. I sing it often to open my private time with Him. I also use it as an opening prayer when I speak to women about learning to hear God’s voice.
May your day be blessed and fruitful.
Dear Ann, thank you for sharing this glimpse of your ministry to God and to others. You have blessed my heart (and my day) with your generosity and kindness. Here’s to every sweetness we bring that gladdens His heart!
May vibrant Grace envelop, direct, and strengthen you always,
Laurie
Hi Laurie,
This morning I heard your beautiful song online for the first time in many years. Kristine DiMarco of Bethel Church sang it, and the Holy Spirit immediately descended on the gathering. What a blessing.“ I Love You Lord” was a regular worship song in our church when I first became a Christian. Thank you so much for writing it.
I look forward to being a part of your Group.
Mike Day
Tacoma, Washington
Mike, thank you so much for your response. I love hearing that “I Love You, Lord” still rises from lifted voices and hearts, even all these decades later. Thank you for worshiping our Maker with it, Mike.
And welcome! I love the community of readers that have gathered here. Hope you will, too.
Dear Laurie, I pray for you and Dreamer.
Jacqueline, how lovely to hear from you today. Thank you so much for your prayers.
I love the last line. A longing for field is a tree of life. Just what I needed to hear today. Beautiful words from a beautiful heart.
Good morning, Gena! That is a beautiful proverb. I know you meant to type “A longing fulfilled,” but “A longing for field” is an equally glorious image: a spacious place to thrive, room to expand one’s reach, to drink in the wind and rain, and light as it falls. Smiling at this visual enlargement of the promise, friend. Blessings on you today.
Waiting is challenging when the everyone’s world keeps moving while yours is standing still. It’s the opposite of a merry-go-round and everything becomes a blur. Then just at the time that you going to close your eyes and give up, Hope steps, pushes your wold to a start and off your go to go help a friend in need. That’s was my day today and it was a good day a very good day.
But for the past three days, Hope was deferred. Today, I got a glimpsed of the Hope for my tomorrows as my husband and I wait for harsh news. It’s legal so I can’t say any more. Please pray that we are strong enough to bear the result if things don’t go in our favor.
Thank you for your post. It came at a time of need for me. Praying for things to go well for you, Laurie. God bless you.
Lidia, I am glad to hear of your good day, helping someone you care about. What could be more like our Savior than reaching out to another—especially when you feel caught in the middle of such a trying time? Waiting on the legal system is stressful!
God of justice and mercy, may Lidia and her husband sense your nearness and encompassing love as they await the outcome. Their case may be pending, their future may be on hold temporarily, but You, Lord, are changeless, ever their strength. Keep them in your peace, strengthened in faith and hope. Amen
Lauri, the hope verse in Proverbs is the one God gave me when I was waiting for my match to enter my life. We were 28 when we met and married when we were 29. Though never a lonely single, I hoped to marry and wondered when. Oh when, Lord, will it happen? In two months we celebrate 44 years of marriage. Bob was worth the wait and has been for me, truly, a tree of life.
Dear Niki, I love knowing that story about you and Bob. Congratulations on 44 years together! Vital, long lasting unions like yours are becoming increasingly rare. A beautiful match, a tree of life, indeed!
Oh eight weeks. I’m so sorry, Laurie…. eight weeks of unknowns to you, yet all known by the Great Knower and Lover of Bill’s soul (and heart!) and yours. I am praying for you now, that your wait will be weighty with His glory.
I think of that same slantwise poet’s take on hope:
“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard…”
May that wing’ed Dove, in the midst of your waiting gale, perch right in your soul and never stop singing this sweet and hope-filled song: “The Lord is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation” (Ps. 118:14). May the Lord’s strength and your salvation, which makes it accessible, fill you and Bill with a hope-filled eight weeks. Praying for good news, God’s Good News, in that doctor’s report!
Love
Lynn
Dear Lynn, it is invigorating to re-read that beloved poem by E.D. this morning. Thank you! “And sweetest in the gale is heard …” carries hard won wisdom and assurance. I’d forgotten about that line.
Thank you, too, for the verse from Psalm 118 and for your love and prayers and envisioning of goodness. “A wait weighty with God’s glory”—that’s a fresh play on words to my ear. I feel expectancy rise . . .
Oh that we could see what goes on in the heavenlies while he asks us to be still or uninvolved. Or unknowing. I’m praying for the warriors in heaven battling for you.
Susan, that makes me shiver a little, awed by the thought of support in realms beyond, as well as here. I don’t often think of that, and while I could spend time trying to imagine the cloud of witnesses, or angels dispatched on our behalf, what strikes home for me most this evening is trusting that, by grace, I will know, (hopefully) from moment to moment, whether and when “to be still or uninvolved. Or unknowing.” Or in the thick of things. Thank you.
Oh, Laurie, I am so sorry you must wait still longer. I pray the next eight weeks will include God-incidences, delightful blessings, wonder and contentment! Thank you for your example of Mary. Look at the splendorous moment she experienced because she waited!
I am waiting for loved ones to accept Jesus as Savior and Lord. My encouragement comes from Ezekiel 11:19-20. “I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone…and give a heart of flesh, that they may walk in my statutes…They shall be my people and I will be their God.” Those words give me hope!
Nancy, I love your good wishes for us—especially the prayer for contentment—and I’m grateful for your ongoing prayers and friendship.
I am standing with you in prayer today for those you love. Thanks for the privilege. May God’s unerring grace daily soften their hearts, disarm and deepen their ability to want and to welcome Love.
Thank you, dear Laurie!
My pleasure 🙂
I think of your Lovely Dreamer each time I listen to his voice on the CD’s and when the music resonates through my mind long afterwards. May peace, hope and persistent trust resonate through your every thought as you await…again. “The Lord is near to those who who wait upon Him…He hears their cry”….and I hear that melody and your voices and pray that you continually hear His voice….
Ruth, your generous words touch me deeply today. Thank you for your prayers and for that wonderful promise. So good to be reminded afresh. Blessings on you and those you love.
Oh, goodness. Big sigh…. just read Bill’s Caring Bridge post–‘aerobic snowman building.’ Smile. Waiting is soooooo hard.
I’m becoming convinced waiting is more than a noun (or a gerund): Waiting is a muscle.
Thanks for your caring concern, friend.
“Waiting is a muscle”… And might I add… It strengthens your core. Blessings, peace and joy to you and Dreaner as you wait together in this holy place in time.
“strengthens the core”! . . . brilliant, Pacia 🙂 thank you!