On New Year’s Day, rowdy wind rocks our trees. It strums our Corinthian wind chimes (Tuned to a C chord, they’re gorgeous).
I raise Dreamer’s cell phone (mine’s not as smart). With a click, I’m recording the chimes.
Flash Forward. By midnight, this list will describe my day:
Mop up dog barf
Accidentally break favorite bowl
Shovel snow
Make a nice lunch for Dreamer (which makes him sick)
Struggle with blog post
Struggle with “chimes video” (which won’t upload)
Mutter bad words
Bite tongue
Accidentally shatter the “Peace” (Marquee falls off mantel)
Get car stuck in driveway
And that would be the really long driveway I spent several days clearing, shovelful by shovelful. (Did I mention our plow’s on the fritz, and Shovel. Shove again.
Shovel again
Repent again (more bad words)
With ice-flurries biting like buckshot, no let-up in sight and my stamina gone, I slump over my shovel. Never mind I grew up in Wisconsin.
Now imagine an icicle. Measured against me, it’s taller (also gradually thickening), and it weeps a little, into a drift: A Kleincicle, stout as a thigh bone.
Seems the Epic Icicle is taxing the eaves. Posing a threat to anyone walking nearby—not unlike envy, frustration, an urge for revenge—sadly, my latest hobbies.
Must I really knock it down?
Better to first stamp a row of holes in the snow, little burial spots. (Sometimes I need a visual.) In goes envy. Then angst. Meanness. Hurt.
The snowflakes fall faster now. I fill in each void with a confession, a boot scuff: the lug sole of gratitude.
Ahhh, newness, white as snow.
Then I wield the shovel. Crack! Chunk by knobbly chunk, down she goes, the once-proud column in ruins.
Back indoors, that image of ruin stays with me.
Epiphany
In The Broken Way, Ann Voskamp writes: “Let love break into you and mess with you and loosen you up and make you laugh and cry and give and hurt because this is the only way to really live. . . . Don’t waste a minute on anything less . . .”
In other words: Kiss the curmudgeon! Serve up those Tums on a silver dish. Cut loose with a Bigfoot ballet and a sweeping bow. Squirrel away dish shards: make a mosaic later.
I don’t know about your day, or your past year, but I hit some rough terrain: cold, hard, heartsore places that blurred my outlook. Froze my hopes.
So lately, I’m leaning into a personal epiphany via this thought from Ann Voskamp (my paraphrase):
Every morning we get to rise (“get to?” . . . I get to rise).
God believes in us (now I’m speechless),
believes in His stories being written through us . . .
Epiphany, traditionally
The Magi followed a chunk of ice screwed into the sky. A blinking Marquee bulb, proclaiming “Peace”—despite how often we’d break it.
Did those who searched the heavens for signs ever sense that Heaven believed in them, was writing the Story through them?
And after they knelt before their new God, beside those famous three gifts, I wonder what else they left behind.
What will you leave behind in this New Year?
What chosen word or phrase will guide you?
click to hear the Klein wind chimes
Denise Armstrong says
“Beside those famous gifts, I wonder what else they left behind?” – Wow, what a satisfying yet equally thirst-stirring question. One thing’s for certain, they left knowing which King to adore and which to disobey!
Also encouraged to quit postponing getting Ann’s book.
So glad I stopped by, Laurie
Denise
Laurie Klein says
Denise, hello, and thank you for dropping by the blog. It is an intriguing question — one new to me as well. I’m sensing a personal threshold that seems to point toward streamlining, so I’m newly curious about the journeys of others: what we retain, what we leave behind physically, yes, but also mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
A side note on Ann’s book: I believe it’s still 50% off for a limited time at Barnes and Noble.
Peggy says
Thank you, again, Laurie. Just playing catch-up on your posts. Nothing like putting ketchup on toast. The Klein-cicle, so dolefully chuckle-able, that you wasted not, but made into a prayer and a memory. Then there are the Klein-chimes– one holds the breath, waiting for the next rich, full-throated note. Wind should always sound like that. Or, maybe it does, we just are not listening right. So, now, a new epiphany (aren’t they always new?) I get it!!! The IT of which we speak. These are the reasons for it. I can hear, and see, the joy of the chimes. I can see the heart outline, so like the one on my patio, through which I snap icicles, snow and sunsets. I can feel the frustrations of your day, not so long ago, sharing our human-ness. Be reminded of my affection for the words of Ann Voskamp. And can be reminded that the chunk of ice that was The Star, was not the message, was not even the messenger, but the harbinger. The world is changed, because those few paid attention to the sounds and visions and the darkness of the night behind the Star. So I am learning to amplectamur the IT, as best I can, because we can share the good, the wonderful, the life in us. Peggy
Laurie Klein says
Peggy, you use the word “reminded,” and I’m nodding because so often it seems I write mostly for that reason, to remind myself of what’s true. Well, I also write to discover how I think and feel. To discover whatever wants to open itself to me. All these feel like good reasons to set fingers to keys, or pen to paper. And then, yes, to share, and see what comes back. I feel richer for having your presence here. Thank you.
Lynn D. Morrissey says
I couldn’t comment any longer on our individual thread! We’ll have to coauthor a book! 🙂 Yes, Sybil (have to remember so hard to call her that, b/c she introduced herself as Dana originally to me, and that’s what Kay calls her). ANYWAY…. yes, the site is gorgeous. Her other one was lovely, but less streamlined and coordinated. Of course, that was b/f she wrote her books; so now Lacy was able to coordinate everything beautifully around her themes. And I love the soft “honeyed” palette. So lovely and calming. I really think that you would like Kay and her work if you like to journal. So you know, this is not a Christian site. I have learned tremendously from her in the area of journal facilitation. Enjoy!
Laurie Klein says
I’m currently re-reading Ink and Honey. 🙂 Have you every attended one of Sibyl’s her retreats? They look interesting. I will visit the journaling site. Thanks for sharing your resources!
Lynn D. Morrissey says
Nor since she renamed her ministry/biz. I met her as Dana Reynolds, and she and Kay have known each other as good friends for a long time. They both led a fabulous women’s writers retreat in Littleton at the Loretto Ct in the summer of 12. I went then and loved it. This was not for credit w/ Kay. I had finished all my coursework, and this was strictly on journaling and artmaking. Very helpful. Dana … Sybil was a gentle, sensitive, and patient leader. They work well as a team.
Lynn D. Morrissey says
I have the 2nd book.
Lynn D. Morrissey says
Do you know Sybil personally?
Laurie Klein says
I’ve never met her but know I would like her. That retreat you attended sounds like it was marvelous. What kind of artmaking do you currently enjoy?
Roberta Depnet says
What life giving words, from you, Laurie, and from all the others who have “chimed in”.
Flashback: Butte Montana. Icicle imbedded in my brother’s skull, surrounded by 4 snowmen kids pondering how to do “surgery”. He survived!
“Frozen Hopes”, your descriptive words. They opened the door to my heart. Oh I have worked hard at freezing hope these last several months. Come to find out, (upon reading your post this morning) hope doesn’t freeze up too well. Hope is this moment. Hope, arm in arm with the I AM.
Wind chimes, singing music in a frozen terrain. Music in the moment.
My thanks to you and your readers. The words, the stories, the shared hopes and fears among you have provided warmth for my frozen heart. Adjust, squeeze, embrace, thaw; my path for stepping into this day. Thank you for HOPE, for the willingness and courage to share, each of you. Your words have been windchimes to my soul.
Laurie Klein says
Roberta, I am so moved this morning by what you are experiencing and the candid, lyrical way you express it. How bravely you invite us all into part of your story here, honoring us with your trust, and how naturally and eloquently you write about it. Your words usher me into part of your story. May Hope warm you all day like a Spirit Chinook, and thaw any remaining hidden seams or stubborn spots. May Hope serenade you at every turn.
And wow, your brother surviving that evil shish-ka-bob-ing icicle! Yikes! And? Thanks, God!
Kathleen says
We put so much importance on these milestones like New Years Eve and New Years Day. And when things like this happen, we end up disappointed. I spent New Years Eve alone and feeling it even more than usual. Missing my late husband. Missing the music that used to be in our house. Feeling the weight of every mistake, every slight, everything. I too am reading “The Broken Way”, and am trying to see my brokenness as beautiful. It does draw me closer to Jesus. It’s doing the same for you, Laurie. I can see it in your writing as you continue to wrestle with things big and small. Snow, ice, illness, and your heart. I love that the broken can love in the midst of it. Even because of it. Keep shining your beautiful light.
Laurie Klein says
Kathleen, you’re so right. We freight so many of those “special days” with our expectations. No wonder they often pale in comparison to what we think or daydream they should be, and how they should make us feel.
I find my heart aching to read about your recent turning over of the year. Was he a musician, too? I can imagine that I might feel a need to listen to different music to avoid reminders, even while missing the old shared favorites. Music so often makes me feel extra vulnerable, part of its gift and power, don’t you think?
I’m pleased we are sharing the experience of reading Ann’s important book. Certain chapters have leveled as well as inspired (and convicted) me.
Thank you for reflecting back to me what you’re seeing in my writing. It means so much to me. As do you.
Deanna Bax says
Amplectamur diem!! I ‘m drinking fresh squeezed lemonade as I ponder that! Thanks for the inspiration to live life to the fullest!
Laurie Klein says
Ooh, my favorite cold drink. So refreshing. A DIY recipe?
And you are so welcome. Glad it inspired you! 🙂
Michele Whitlock says
Oh girl, I hope your Dreamer is feeling better and the anguish from all the broken shards of new year’s day has been calmed. I soooo relate. I’ve been looking at how special days used to be so magical, even when not perfect. But now every day seems the same… and definitely not all that magical. I want the magic back. I want to view Christmas and Easter and the 4th of July with wide eyed wonder. And let’s not forget Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. How about every day? Like you say, maybe I just need to squeeze the day. THANKS.
Laurie Klein says
As of yesterday, Dreamer arose from days of staying horizontal. So far, so good. Thank you so much for your caring wishes for him. He starts physical therapy tomorrow and sees his doctor next week.
About the magic: I think courting wonder (even stalking wonder!) makes a difference in my daily outlook and level of joy. I love that you mentioned the seasons as well as holidays. So many changes, dramatic and nuanced in the cycles as they come and go. I mean to keep squeezing! 🙂
Peggy says
For both Michele and Laurie. Magic gone. Stalking the wonder. The saddest things I have read in a long time. But so, so true. I hate change, especially the really hard kind. Even love is changed, and that is another really hard one. What do we do? I am a ‘Fixer’. Always have been. Can’t fix these things. Can’t. Period. So, I burrow into the loving arms of my Savior. I poke my head out to see if the gone things are back. They are not, but there are new ones in their places, specially created to be better than what is gone. However, I don’t see them. What could be better than that lost, last love, or my daughter?? Jesus, of course.
Laurie Klein says
“Jesus, of course.” Bottom line. And the pinnacle and deepest inwardness we can know plus surround-sound—all of which keeps us going. Growing and knowing.
Here’s to burrowing! 🙂
Jody Collins says
p.s. My book includes the occasion of Epiphany, an observance we do well to NOT skip over. I’m so glad you included a reference to it here. We have been given so much, now what will we share?
Laurie Klein says
What, indeed. Ideally (hopefully) all that is asked of us, when requested.
Now there’s a star worth one’s wagon best hitch (she said, awkwardly avoiding cliche as well as ending on a preposition).
Jody Collins says
Ohhhh….that Ann Voskamp. Her book is leaving glory in its wake, clearly.
I’m so sorry for all the tempests having tossed you lately, but man, a new attitude makes SO much difference.
My word for the year is ‘adjust’–as in, “you think you know where you’re going? great, just start moving. If you need to be steered in a different direction, I’ll let you know. Just move.”
I pray this New Year will at least include another visit to warm my soul, dear friend. You are a priceless treasure to us all.
(and ‘squeeze the day’? Seriously? there’s Latin for that???)
Laurie Klein says
“Adjust”: wow, nice guiding word. As in . . . a holy tweak. A nudge, A gentle shove. Makes me think of pilots adjusting course a few degrees and completely altering destination.
Would love to see you again in 2017. 🙂
One of my regrets about high school is that I didn’t take Latin. I went to an online translator and crashed around, settled on “embrace” as a synonym for squeeze based on definitions given for squeeze. No idea if it’s completely accurate. Sounds a little like a line from a Harry Potter movie.
John Lindsay says
Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln – how was the play?
Laurie Klein says
Ah, JW, you’ve got me googling again. 🙂 I so enjoy having a friend who’s a history buff. You know me. I love learning stuff.
For anyone else puzzled by John’s comment, visit: http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/2015/04/abraham-lincoln-assassination-play-our-american-cousin
Lynn D. Morrissey says
So loved this post, Laurie, as I do all you write. And btw, I bought your beautiful poetry book!! Yay! Merry Christmas to me! This post had a kind of stream of consciousness flow for me, which I loved. There was a surprise with every flowing. Forgive me, too, but I kept thinking about Ralphie, of Christmas Story fame, and how he nearly “shot his eye out” w/ his BB gun present, and blamed it instead on a giant icicle falling from the roof. He figured injury by icicle would be more palatable to his mother. I’m glad that despite all your New Year’s Day mishaps, that death by giant icicle was not one!! I’m glad that you are living to tell your story and to tell us how to squeeze our diems for all the glory they’re worth. A dear friend, Karen O’Connor, wrote a book I appreciate called “Squeeze the Moment: 31 Days to a More Joyful Heart.” (my stories on Days 3 & 25). Your new Latin phrase made me think of it. I hope you have lovely New Year, Laurie. Thank you for such lovely sharing.
Lynn
Laurie Klein says
Lynn, thank you for your warm words of encouragement. Glad you enjoyed the post. And thank you for buying my book! I hope you enjoy it. Your friend Karen’s book sounds like a gem.
Love that Ralphie. 🙂 Two years ago my daughter gave me a pair of el cheapo black glasses with a plastic icicle super-glued to one lens. Cracks me up. I keep it above my keyboard.
Blessings on your unfolding year, Lynn!
Lynn D. Morrissey says
Ha! And you think that’s bad. We have a miniature leg lamp in our dining room window!!! but b/c of its size, I don’t have to cringe from the outside when I see it or dim all the lights!
HJappy New Year dearest Laurie!!
And I didn’ trealize you had a connection w/ Lacy Ellman… and do you also w/ Kay Adams? Can’t recall.
Laurie Klein says
And we have the leg lamp nightlight!
I took a couple classes from Lacy and followed her blog for a while. I admire her myriad giftings and heart for others. I’m intrigued by her new direction and hope you’ll share some of your travel experience with me. It’s Iona, right? Coming up this year?
I don’t know Kay Adams. Now I want to google the name. 🙂
Lynn D. Morrissey says
Ok, yes. I thought somehow I had seen your name associated w/ Lacy. I found her by accident (well, googling journaling, likely), and then once I read about the trip to Iona (yes, Iona), I began to realize she was the “Lacy” that Sybil Reynolds had directed me to some time earlier w/ re: to creating a website. So it’s a small world. I’m still truly shaking in my Vasque hiking boots, but I know that the Lord has a deep purpose for me in this pilgrimage this March. Less than 3 mos. away. Yikes! I’ve really gotten waylaid b/c of a bad virus, and have lost a lot of time in my preparations. But Lacy’s really been quite helpful. I love how relatable Lacy is, and she answers any questions I may have about the journey, and never seems to feel I’m imposing. Kathleen (Kay) Adams is one of the premier pioneers in the world in the journal therapy movement. She also teaches a lay course (very intense) on journal facilitation. I studied with her and earned her credential as a certified journal facilitator (CJF). I’ve learned tons from her. You can see her work here: http://www.journaltherapy.com
Laurie Klein says
Lynn, I love what Lacy did with Sibyl’s lovely website, so cleanly elegant and memorable with just a hint of playfulness, a touch of mysticism.
Do you know, I have Vasque boots I bought in 1972, still sole-worthy. I will be praying for your recovery from the virus and for your preparation for pilgrimage. What an adventure!
I’m going to jump over to Kathleen Adams’ site now. Thanks for the link!
Joy Lenton says
Laurie, I love how you’ve managed to squeeze glorious thoughts and photos and sound such poignant notes from those inglorious occurrences! I grimaced, smiled, nodded along and laughed out loud. These may not have been the words you wanted to write or the blog post you intended to air, but they have a life and grace of their own, nevertheless.
I loved Ann Voslkamp’s new book, though it broke me as I read it. But oh such gems she mined for us – almost every page in my Kindle is highlighted! What would I like to leave behind? Good question… too numerous to mention, I think. As for what phrase might guide me, it’s slowly working its way into my weary brain. Can I come back to you on that one as well? xo <3
Laurie Klein says
Joy, I’m delighted to have brought you a laugh. Really, when the whole blooming day uber-pretzels the soul, I find laughter helps. I take myself way too seriously way too often.
And yes, Ann’s book is profound. It keeps leveling me, chapter by chapter. Such candor, such wealth.
May grace help you jettison anything in the way of moving forward, inward, onward—and leave it with no regret, moving more freely because it’s behind you. Including myself in that prayer!
Joy Lenton says
Laurie, I seem to have missed this reply. I think I forgot to click to receive notifications. 🙁 I see another similarity between us with these words: “I take myself way too seriously way too often.” Oh, me too, a habit ingrained from childhood. But I long to take a leaf out of your book and inject some fresh JOY into Joy for a change! And how I need your lovely prayer. It’s strange how so much of our internal stuff trips us up, largely because we neglect to “jettison anything in the way of moving forward, inward, onward” and to move on with no regret. My hoarder instincts blanch at the necessary refining work ahead! Yes, oodles of grace are required here. Bless you, my friend. xo
Laurie Klein says
Oh, Joy! I’m chuckling in total sympathy at “my hoarder instincts blanch…” Head nodding. Vicarious cringe. Accrued relational grunge builds up in my soul like tannin in my white china teapot. Here’s to freedom and new Joy via divine “injection”!
Joy Lenton says
You, too? Though my hoarding instincts far exceed the soul. They extend to the external house and home as well. Much refining work required in general, if only energy was as plentiful as the accumulated stuff! But I still have hope. Yes, here’s to “freedom and new Joy via divine ‘injection'”!
Pacia acia Dixon says
Aw, Laurie, I’m so glad I have a long-distance friend who knits difficulties into such beautiful, humorous, harmonic sonnets. You never cease to inspire me!
Laurie Klein says
Pacia,you use the word “knit”—what a perfect verb for a day that’s unraveling around us, unraveling us. My mom always made me go back when I dropped a stitch, either by unraveling plus do-over rows, or by fiddling the yarn back up through the rows if there weren’t too many. Seems an apt metaphor for life these days.
And you, my friend, continue to inspire me. Can’t wait to see the next stage of the current bust with the wonderfully expressive neck and face, the graceful lean . . .
Pacia acia Dixon says
❤❤❤
Diane says
What a day, difficult events and then the lessons learned, and the contrast to the breath-taking photography for your Christmas blog post (Bill’s playing was I think my new favorite version of the song.)
Squeeze the day – I’ll remember that!
Laurie Klein says
Hi Diane, and Happy New Year, my friend! I’ll tell Bill what you said about the carol. 🙂 He’ll be pleased. He recorded that a few years ago as part of a Christmas gift to his mom.
And yes, let’s squeeze the day—no matter what’s coming down.